2016

It’s a crisis…

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Where is it all going? The stairs down from the top of the Arc de Triomphe!

So it’s official – here is it is.

A mid-life crisis.  Or something of the sort.  Definitely a crisis!

Where shall I start?

There is the disappointment that I seem to be average!  Psychologytoday.com says it is typical for the average 30 year old woman to, “as their career focus narrows, to seek meaningful and challenging work.  For smart, goal-driven women, a mid-life crisis isn’t about recovering lost youth. It’s about discovering the application of their greatness. The problem is that no one has defined what “greatness” looks like so the quest has no specific destination.”

So here, as I stare my mid-thirties in the face, I thought it was only me.  But no, seems like I am just average.  Seems I can’t even claim this crisis to be my greatness!  But then, where are all these other average women?  Everyone around me seems like they have it all together; all figured out and well on their way.  In fact, most seem pretty great already!  Who else feels like me?  Agonizing about where I am in my career, if I am in the right place, at the right time.  If I have done enough, worked hard enough,  saved enough… if I should not have achieved more by now?  What if I don’t even want to be in the corporate world?  Is this the time to take risks?  To pack up with hubby and the dogs and move to Italy to start our little restaurant?  But it seems even rich and famous suffer the same fate!  Look at Justin Timberlake – singers want to act, actors want to sing!  Bad example, he’s a man!  Wait, what?  This isn’t even a woman thing?!  How about JLo – she was an actor before she became a popstar.  Jeepers – now to find greatness (and a body) like that!

But never mind about actually really having the time or the luxury to focus on finding what my greatness might be – because what about retirement?  Come to think about it, it seems that corporate job is here to stay.  Nevermind greatness!  And we definitely need additional income, which of course necessitates me having to come up with the most brilliant invention the world has ever seen.  Yip, there are those sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling wondering what it might be.  Could it be chocolates that don’t make you fat?!  YES, I would buy that.  Truckloads of it.  Or miracle weight loss pills! Let’s be honest, I’ve tried a few… I have yet to find the miracle.  I wonder if a non-famous person could become famous for not being famous… then I could also have an emoji app!  Maybe anti-wrinkle creams that really turn back the clock 10 years.  (Yep… tried those too.)

Which I clearly need!  Because a night of little sleep, in which you lay contemplating how you can turn your yet-to-be-discovered greatness into a million dollar money making scheme, can evidently take its toll.  Because on some of those mornings you get up, get dressed, put on your make-up and look at yourself in the mirror – and then it happens – rarely, but it does – it happens that you think “hey, I actually goooood today”… only to be greeted with a concerned colleague asking you as you set foot in the office “shame, are you ok?  You look so tired today?”  Never mind that being a crises, that is a disaster!

So where to from here?  I’ve never been a person that enjoys a pity party so there is no time to feel sorry for myself!  I’m normally the one with the positive word and the encouraging talk for anyone else that needs some advice.  So what do I have to say to this face looking back at me in the mirror? The one with the slightly bemused look on her face, a few wrinkles around the eyes (I need to start smiling less!) and a few grey hairs growing out?

I look up from the computer at our home that I love… and I see hubby lying on the couch while my one dachshund boy is trying to look all cute so that he can be allowed to jump up as well.  The other one has snuggled himself under his blankie in their basket – he is 14 years old already! I see our holiday photos on the wall and my favourite poetry and recipe books in the bookshelf.  Some I’ve had since I was 16!  Our family and friends are healthy and safe.  And  as soon as I am done writing here, hubby and I will prepare one of my favourite meals… plus it is just about time for a glass of wine!

All of that is pretty great…

So yes, face-in-the-mirror… you might not have it all figured out today.  You might not know exactly what yet undiscovered greatness lies inside you, where the road you are on is leading or what tomorrow might bring. But you have the things that make life great around you every day right now and that is already a great place to be… Just let your journey continue.

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The journey continues.  Sunset – taken close to Trebes on the Canal du Midi.

 

 

 

New year’s resolutions, continued…

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“When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” – Leo Burnett

This was the first quote I ever quoted.  I was in grade 11 in high school and had to write the foreword for our school yearbook.  It had to include a message to the grade 12 pupils finishing school that year.  For some reason I had this urge to share something really profound with them.  Some knowledge or secret that would forever have an influence on the people they were to become.  I didn’t quite know what (probably the only thing I didn’t know at 17!), but I knew it had to be motivational, inspirational.

So off I went in the search of some quotes.  And when I got to the Leo Burnett quote, it just felt right.  It resonated with me then, even as a teenager.  It affirmed that I could try anything I wanted.  And it gave me solace that in times when I have tried my all and I don’t end up on top, that it would be OK too, because at least it meant that I would be better off than if I did not try at all.  I liked it so much that it also ended up being my words of wisdom to the grade 12’s.

Fast forward back to now, to the pending new year.

After my mini meltdown about the pressures of new year’s resolutions I’ve spent a few days thinking about what it really is that I would like to achieve in 2016.  And out of nowhere the Leo Burnett quote popped into my head.  Sure, I want to lose weight, eat healthy, improve my skin care regime, be a better person, work harder, be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend, save all the lost dogs in the world, learn to cook better, create an amazing blog… but what does it really mean?  What is it that I would really like to achieve?  What will make me happy at the end of 2016?  When will I look back and not be disappointed by all the things I started on Monday and stopped on Wednesday?

“When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.”

That’s it, really.  In the end what really makes me feel content is when I feel I am the best me I can possibly be.  And the best me is the me who knows in her heart that she tried and gave her best at whatever it is she thought was worth trying.  And then it’s OK if I don’t quite get there (like the size 8 jeans I’ve been saving in my cupboard  for years now!!) because if I gave it my all and still don’t catch that star, I know that I am more than what I was before.

So here’s to 2016!  To being me, to reach for the stars in everything I do.  To be more (and maybe a little bit less in certain areas)! To live life to the fullest.

Cheers!

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About new year’s resolutions…

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With the new year just around I corner, I really can’t believe (wait for the cliché…) how fast this year has gone.

This, of course, signals the start of the anxiety and pressure of the new year’s resolution list. You have hardly come up with them, given yourself a few “Mondays” throughout the year to get started on them, and all of a sudden January stares you in the face again! Now, at the end of the year, not only do you have the dubious pleasure of ticking off all those you got to (the majority, mostly… sort of….), but you also get to experience the joy when you move those you didn’t quite get to, to the NEW new year’s list… so that you can combine it with the list of brand new resolutions that you came up with that are REALLY realistic for you to achieve this time around.

I feel a sweat coming already. The pressure!!  But there is still time before you have to turn that new leaf …

Because technically you can’t start with your new year’s resolutions on the 1st of January (well, not with the losing weight, exercising and eating healthy ones in any case. Oh, and the no drinking one.) Because the 1st is still a public holiday, you know. You can probably start on the 2nd, but it would be better if the 2nd happens to be a Monday as well. Because all new things that a person needs to start with, works better on a Monday.

Does that mean that a Monday trumps the start of the new year? It’s a tough one. If the 2nd of January is on a Monday, then they are completely equal. You’ve got to take that new leaf and run like the wind. However, if the 2nd is not on a Monday, the first Monday of the new year will suffice, except if the first Monday happens to be the 1st. (And I’ve already explained why the 1st is just not even an option at all.)

Oh, the demands of life.

I think I need to consider my new year’s resolutions carefully. No better way to do this then to have a glass (or few) of wine. And a chocolate. And some chips. And those salt biscuits (the full pack that is still in the cupboard).  With some cheese.

Because of course you have to clear out the cupboards now in order to start afresh in 2016!

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Food for thought