Life

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!

~ WorkFoodHome ~ Leave a comment

img_2523-copyWow, I can’t believe that it has been over four months since my last post!  As the saying goes – time flies when you’re having fun – but for me the past year was more a case of time that flew even though I was not having fun.

2016 was a tough year for me; probably one of the toughest yet.  It was professionally challenging more than anything else, but unfortunately I let that spill over into (and to a large extent consume) my personal life and it really had a negative impact on me.  I felt despondent, emotionally drained, not good enough, angry, sad, tired and sorry for myself.  And there was no way I could hide all of that in my writing.  So I stopped.  And I didn’t want to start again until I was sure that I was ready to be the real me again.

‘And now, what’s changed?’, I hear you ask.

Well, not a whole lot.  In reality, only one thing really.  Me.  My outlook on life.  My mindset.  And I’m back!

With the help of the love of my life, a.k.a my amazing husband and my friends (a special mention to the CoreCore team and my friend who had to come to the work’s kitchen with tissues on more than one occasion!), I’ve found my stride again.  I am so grateful to each and everyone one of you for putting up with my moods, my silences, my sarcastic comments, my tears, my self-doubt.  Never judging, always supporting and encouraging, and just being there for me.  I would not have made it through 2016 without you!

So there was no big epiphany.  Just a gradual realization (and acceptance) of what I already knew deep down inside.  That no one could do anything about the way I was feeling or the way I was reacting to what was happening to me, but myself.  I saw one of those motivational posters that read:  “There comes a point in your life when you realize that turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because there’s so much more to the book that the page you were stuck on.”  I was holding on to all the negative feelings for so long because it was just easier to do so than figuring out how to move forward.  So slowly I worked through the things I had going on in my head until I came to a point where I was finally ready to admit that only I could change the way I was feeling.  And yes, while the world around me is still pretty much the same, I now remember that I have control over how I react to those things that upset me and that just ignoring how I feel about it won’t make it go away either.  It’s like the old saying of not being able to fill a cup that is already full…  And going forward I will always make sure that there is always room in my cup for something more!

And what better way to celebrate than getting back to writing!

If I look back at my first blog post in December last year, I am so proud of having started WorkFoodHome!  I remember how scared I was when I pressed “publish” that first time!  (To be honest, most of my friends and family still don’t know that I have a blog, but that’s about to change! Deep breaths, deep breaths!)

So, in 2107 you can look forward WorkFoodHome really showcasing the things I am passionate about – more recipes, more travel stories and more beautiful photography – all with hubby by my side!

Here is to 2017 being filled with joie de vivre!

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2017, here we come!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reflection on the world today

~ WorkFoodHome ~ 1 Comment

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This morning when I woke up it was with much sadness that I read about the attack that happened in Nice, France, where a truck drove into a crowd of people, killing over 80.

What was even sadder is that every day around the world people are killed in so many senseless acts of violence.  Syria, Baghdad, Orlando, Paris… – those are just some of the more known ones.  But there is also the woman who gets raped and killed while out jogging, or the man robbed and shot dead, while waiting for a train.  And sometimes it feels to me that as a world we have become so desensitised to this; it’s only the latest event that makes the headlines for a day or so and then we move on… So much suffering because of  race, religion, sexual preference… because of evil.

I believe Mother Theresa said “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

There ARE more good in this world than evil.  There are more of us that believe it the value of respecting one another; of allowing our fellow human beings to live in peace in this world.  It is not whether your religion is Christianity or Islam that counts… or if you love a woman or a man… it’s not a black or white life that matters… all innocent lives matter.  Let us respect that; let us live that value – and even if alone we can’t change the world, we can pray that by doing this we will lead by example and that we will leave a better and more peaceful, respectful world for our children and those to come after us.

I leave you with a song from a Just Jinjer, a South African band.  It was written a couple of years ago but as relevant today as it was then.  On my way to work this morning I could not help but think of the first few lines…

if there is grace in this world
if there is light on this earth
let us use it
let us see it
starting right now

can we be down with ourselves
respectful and mindful of one, of one another
your significant other
your sister, your brother

peace, love, more tolerance
faith, hope, trust in the same name of god

peace, love, more tolerance
faith, hope, trust in the same god in whose
name we die for, take an innocent life for
that’s not what he means
and it doesn’t matter what book you read

It’s called “What he means” – and it’s worth listening to it here.

Let us not just pray for Nice today…

let us pray for the world.

It’s a crisis…

~ WorkFoodHome ~ Leave a comment
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Where is it all going? The stairs down from the top of the Arc de Triomphe!

So it’s official – here is it is.

A mid-life crisis.  Or something of the sort.  Definitely a crisis!

Where shall I start?

There is the disappointment that I seem to be average!  Psychologytoday.com says it is typical for the average 30 year old woman to, “as their career focus narrows, to seek meaningful and challenging work.  For smart, goal-driven women, a mid-life crisis isn’t about recovering lost youth. It’s about discovering the application of their greatness. The problem is that no one has defined what “greatness” looks like so the quest has no specific destination.”

So here, as I stare my mid-thirties in the face, I thought it was only me.  But no, seems like I am just average.  Seems I can’t even claim this crisis to be my greatness!  But then, where are all these other average women?  Everyone around me seems like they have it all together; all figured out and well on their way.  In fact, most seem pretty great already!  Who else feels like me?  Agonizing about where I am in my career, if I am in the right place, at the right time.  If I have done enough, worked hard enough,  saved enough… if I should not have achieved more by now?  What if I don’t even want to be in the corporate world?  Is this the time to take risks?  To pack up with hubby and the dogs and move to Italy to start our little restaurant?  But it seems even rich and famous suffer the same fate!  Look at Justin Timberlake – singers want to act, actors want to sing!  Bad example, he’s a man!  Wait, what?  This isn’t even a woman thing?!  How about JLo – she was an actor before she became a popstar.  Jeepers – now to find greatness (and a body) like that!

But never mind about actually really having the time or the luxury to focus on finding what my greatness might be – because what about retirement?  Come to think about it, it seems that corporate job is here to stay.  Nevermind greatness!  And we definitely need additional income, which of course necessitates me having to come up with the most brilliant invention the world has ever seen.  Yip, there are those sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling wondering what it might be.  Could it be chocolates that don’t make you fat?!  YES, I would buy that.  Truckloads of it.  Or miracle weight loss pills! Let’s be honest, I’ve tried a few… I have yet to find the miracle.  I wonder if a non-famous person could become famous for not being famous… then I could also have an emoji app!  Maybe anti-wrinkle creams that really turn back the clock 10 years.  (Yep… tried those too.)

Which I clearly need!  Because a night of little sleep, in which you lay contemplating how you can turn your yet-to-be-discovered greatness into a million dollar money making scheme, can evidently take its toll.  Because on some of those mornings you get up, get dressed, put on your make-up and look at yourself in the mirror – and then it happens – rarely, but it does – it happens that you think “hey, I actually goooood today”… only to be greeted with a concerned colleague asking you as you set foot in the office “shame, are you ok?  You look so tired today?”  Never mind that being a crises, that is a disaster!

So where to from here?  I’ve never been a person that enjoys a pity party so there is no time to feel sorry for myself!  I’m normally the one with the positive word and the encouraging talk for anyone else that needs some advice.  So what do I have to say to this face looking back at me in the mirror? The one with the slightly bemused look on her face, a few wrinkles around the eyes (I need to start smiling less!) and a few grey hairs growing out?

I look up from the computer at our home that I love… and I see hubby lying on the couch while my one dachshund boy is trying to look all cute so that he can be allowed to jump up as well.  The other one has snuggled himself under his blankie in their basket – he is 14 years old already! I see our holiday photos on the wall and my favourite poetry and recipe books in the bookshelf.  Some I’ve had since I was 16!  Our family and friends are healthy and safe.  And  as soon as I am done writing here, hubby and I will prepare one of my favourite meals… plus it is just about time for a glass of wine!

All of that is pretty great…

So yes, face-in-the-mirror… you might not have it all figured out today.  You might not know exactly what yet undiscovered greatness lies inside you, where the road you are on is leading or what tomorrow might bring. But you have the things that make life great around you every day right now and that is already a great place to be… Just let your journey continue.

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The journey continues.  Sunset – taken close to Trebes on the Canal du Midi.

 

 

 

Things I have learnt

~ WorkFoodHome ~ 10 Comments
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I love history because we can learn from it.  This is the Musee du Louvre, in Paris.

While school and university are great platforms for learning, to my mind, Life proves to be the best teacher by far.  While the former imparts theory, Life shows you… well, life.  How the everyday works.  And it is not the kind of stuff you can get from a text book.  It’s the hard-hitting realities and truths that you can only learn by experiencing it.

So far in my life I had to learn some hard lessons.  It is not always easy to deal with the disappointment, but I am better for it.

A few of the things I have learned so far:

Family members are not as interested in seeing your holiday photos as what you are.  I have taken a multitude of pictures “to show my mom and dad; because they will really enjoy this!”.  For some reason, after picture number 453, their enthusiasm is not what it was when the slideshow first came on.

After I’ve put nail polish on my nails, I will need to go to the bathroom.  It doesn’t help to go just before.  Nope, I’ve tried that.  Inexplicably my bladder is linked to fresh nail polish that needs to dry.

After living with terrible, faded and outgrown hair for weeks, the day I go to the hairdresser to finally get my hair done, it will look the best that it ever has.

The first time I try a new recipe will always be amazing.  However, past performance is not a guarantee of future success and as a result, the second time is normally a disaster.  Let’s just say the panna cotta I practiced for Christmas pudding was an amazing test, but more a “puddle of cotta” on the day it was meant to be a star.

If you try some pants on in the store and it fits just a tad too tight, chances are very good it will never fit.  Don’t believe yourself when you say “Well, I am on a diet… so it is just a matter of days before it fits…” No, it will not happen.

If you spot something really expensive that you like and buy it, within a few weeks you will find it on sale for a third of the price.  However, if you decide to wait for a sale, that specific thing you were looking for won’t be there anymore.

The neater the handbag, the more difficult to find things inside it.

Not that I have had much experience with grey hair (!!) but for every one grey hair that you try and pull out, you will pull out at least 5 perfectly good hairs instead.  And when you finally manage to get hold of the grey you will end up breaking it off, instead of eradicating it completely.  Those things stick like the roots of a thousand year old tree.

Yes, learning can be tough business.

But what is the most profound thing that I have learnt so far in my schooling with Life?  “Be miserable.  Or motivate yourself.  What ever has be done done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer.

It is something that I continue to learn every day.  Just like school, you have to practice at Life.  The best part about it though is that you will only fail once you stop trying.  So happy learning!  I know my education continues.

And a little bit of humour goes a long way!