My blog has been a bit quiet lately – but I have had a very good excuse! It’s been almost a year since I’ve had some proper leave from work; I’m not just talking of a day here or there – but rather about proper time for some quality r&r. So when stress and frustration levels reached boiling point a few weeks ago, I decided that this was a perfect time for a a break.
Last year we had the holiday of a lifetime – barging on the Canal du Midi in the south of France – but this year we have had to scale down a bit (you know, building up the reserves for next year!). So most of our time was spent at home, doing all the things that we always want to do, but just never have the time for. It was great to just sit back and relax – and take things in my stride. I’ve recently come to realise (or finally admitted it to myself!) that I don’t focus enough on the here and now. My mind is always off thinking about the past (something I should have, could have done or said) or otherwise thinking about the future (what I must do, I need to do, I must remember…). So with this time off I really concentrated on just enjoying the present. And I feel so much better for it!
The best part of our holiday though, was a short little weekend getaway. Located just outside Botrivier (a small town in the Overberg region of the Western Cape, South Africa), you will find the beautiful KolKol Mountain Lodge. It is truly a special place; unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
Our stunning cabin, Brunia
The wooden deck with our outdoor fireplace and wood-fired pool
Views for days
It has beautifully furnished log and stone cabins with breathtaking views over the valley. The attention to detail makes everything super special. Apart from its romantic setting, with an outdoor braai and indoor fireplace you could ask what more one would need on a romantic breakaway… but wait… there is more. How about wood fired hot tubs?! Oh yes! Imagine the air has a slight chill, but you are sitting comfortably on your wooden deck overlooking the stunning scenery, a glass of wine nearby… relaxing in a hot tub! Pure bliss!
Hubby relaxing in the wood-fired hot tub – bliss.
Hubby and I spend two evenings there – way too short! But long enough to leave me feeling refreshed and energized. If you are looking for an amazing place to reflect and get perspective on life again, this is it. Don’t hesitate to visit! You have to experience it for yourself.
Lunch with a view!
Cozy fireplace
So romantic
What I realised during this time is that I need to take better care of myself. I think for many of us just go on auto-pilot during our normal daily lives without even knowing that we do. During this little break I became aware how important it is to take time out, to make sure that I am OK. It’s like that saying that you can’t fill a cup that is already full… I realised I was full, but not necessarily with the good stuff.
The stunning fynbos and views for days…
So here are a few things I’ve decided to consciously focus on going forward to make sure that I am the best me I can possibly be – maybe there is something here that resonates with you as well:
1. Focus on the moment
Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. – Bill Keane
Cheesy, I know! But important. Else I will forever be spending my time worrying about something that happened, or that might happen – and I will miss out on all that is happening around me right now.
2. The work-life balance
Balance is not better time management but better boundary management. – Betsy Jacobson
I know there is no such thing as a perfect work-life balance. But you need to watch the scales. I realise that I have been giving so much time (willingly) to work that I suffered. So I need to focus on that balance a bit and prioritise some time for me. It is OK not to work late every night, right?!
3. Healthy body, healthy mind
To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. – Buddha
Oh, this is the difficult one! I’ve never been naturally active, but last year I tried jogging and I really enjoyed it. It was amazing how it actually cleared my mind after a busy day. However, when winter came, I just could not bear to get out there so the winter was spent on the couch, under the blanket. I really did find that I missed it and with spring now approaching, I’m dusting off my running shoes and will be hitting the road again tomorrow. #fingerscrossed (And of course the healthy lunch is already packed for lunch tomorrow!)
This morning when I woke up it was with much sadness that I read about the attack that happened in Nice, France, where a truck drove into a crowd of people, killing over 80.
What was even sadder is that every day around the world people are killed in so many senseless acts of violence. Syria, Baghdad, Orlando, Paris… – those are just some of the more known ones. But there is also the woman who gets raped and killed while out jogging, or the man robbed and shot dead, while waiting for a train. And sometimes it feels to me that as a world we have become so desensitised to this; it’s only the latest event that makes the headlines for a day or so and then we move on… So much suffering because of race, religion, sexual preference… because of evil.
I believe Mother Theresa said “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”
There ARE more good in this world than evil. There are more of us that believe it the value of respecting one another; of allowing our fellow human beings to live in peace in this world. It is not whether your religion is Christianity or Islam that counts… or if you love a woman or a man… it’s not a black or white life that matters… all innocent lives matter. Let us respect that; let us live that value – and even if alone we can’t change the world, we can pray that by doing this we will lead by example and that we will leave a better and more peaceful, respectful world for our children and those to come after us.
I leave you with a song from a Just Jinjer, a South African band. It was written a couple of years ago but as relevant today as it was then. On my way to work this morning I could not help but think of the first few lines…
if there is grace in this world
if there is light on this earth
let us use it
let us see it
starting right now
can we be down with ourselves respectful and mindful of one, of one another your significant other your sister, your brother
peace, love, more tolerance faith, hope, trust in the same name of god
peace, love, more tolerance
faith, hope, trust in the same god in whose
name we die for, take an innocent life for
that’s not what he means
and it doesn’t matter what book you read
It’s called “What he means” – and it’s worth listening to it here.
The past few posts saw me being in a bit of a pensive mood so it is probably no surprise that during this past week… I celebrated my birthday! And with so many people wishing me that “all my dreams may come true”…what better way to let my imagination run wild than to imagine that on my birthday one of my biggest dreams finally became a reality? Yip, hubby and I can at last teleport to anywhere our heart desires! So, with these abilities, just what would an ideal birthday day look like…?
Sunrise over the Amalfi Coost
How about waking up, being able to look out over the Mediterranean? On Italy’s Amalfi Coast, of course. It will be a peaceful moment, hubby and I getting out of bed and sitting on our balcony; me quietly reflecting on the year that was and being grateful for all the good things in my life. In the background we will hear the faint sounds of the waves gently breaking on the shore and we will watch the old fishermen pushing their little boats out to sea. Their faces, weathered but content, for they are leading the life that they want. And in this quiet time I would aspire to do the same during the coming year.
Mural of fishermen on a church wall in Praiano
Mural up close
But what is a birthday without a special breakfast, so out the door we’ll go and step onto the streets of Paris. Stall holders will be packing out their fresh produce while cheerfully chatting away, and the air will hold a sense of anticipation for a great day ahead. The streets will still be quiet… Quiet enough so that I can run into the middle of the road to get a perfect shot of the Paris Opera house at last! Breakfast would be in a quintessential little side street cafe with a great view of the Notre Dame de Paris Cathedral, while Parisians quickly rush in for their morning cup of coffee. What’s for breakfast? Croque Monsieur! But it must be the same croque monsieur hubby and I once had in the train from Narbonne to Avignon! Yes, it was on the a normal train from the national French railway and we ordered it from the canteen…. but of all the croque monsieurs I’ve ever had in France, it was THE best one! (Who says I can’t teleport a sandwich?!) And of course it would be delivered to the table with the same French flair reserved for announcing the arrival of a Michelin starred meal or just a simple piece of bread – voila!
Quiet Paris streets on an early morning with the beautiful Paris Opera House in the background
Best croque monsieur ever!
Notre Dame de Paris
Notre Dame up close
The view from the back
Breakfast done and dusted and definitely time to appear on the steps of the Sacre Coeur (Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Paris). Not only because from its steps you have breathtaking views over the city, but because I would hope to hear the same choir sing as we did when we entered the church late one evening. It honestly did sound like a heavenly choir and it was a real spiritual experience. So on this day of celebrating my birth it would be the appropriate time to give thanks and to pray for wisdom, guidance and blessings in the year to come.
Beautiful Sacre Coeur
The view from its steps over the city
Now with both tummy and spirit satisfied, it would definitely be time for site seeing, and what better place to start than one of the new 7 natural wonders of the world! As we arrive at the bottom of Table Mountain in my home city of Cape Town, it would be a perfect blue sky day, ensuring that we will have uninterrupted views of across the city. Excitedly we will wait at the lower cable car station to make the trip up by cable car (it is a huge thrill going up that I would definitely choose the old fashioned way of going up in lieu of my new teleporting abilities just placing us at the top!). The floor of the cable car turns around as you go up, giving 360 degree views of this natural wonder. The closer we get the top of the mountain it seems inevitable that we will end up crashing against the sheer rock face, but just as I wish that perhaps we took the teleport route, we safely make it all the way into the upper station. And what greets us is the most amazing views, no matter in which direction you look. Down the city, over the Cape Town Stadium built for the 2010 soccer world cup or across the ocean towards Robben Island… breathtaking! Standing on top of this mountain I would realise how small a person is in this big world and I would also be thankful that I can call this place home.
A cable car going up Table Mountain
One of the 7 natural wonders of the world!
View of Cape Town, Cape Town stadium and Robben Island from the top of Table Mountain
More stunning views
View from inside the cable car, going down
But what woman would not want to feel like a princess on her birthday?! So to fulfil my regal fantasies hubby would transport me from the top of Table Mountain to the beautiful Loire Valley in France, which is a UNESCO world heritage site. The valley is filled with beautiful chateaux, fit for a fairly tale. Hubby will choose to take us to Chateau de Chenonceau. We would have time to explore the castle and its beautiful grounds and I would stand on the balcony, hand in hand with my prince charming! It is hard to believe that people could live in such opulence! Oh well, I can’t complain. I have always been treated like a queen in my own home!
Chenonceau – what fairy tales are made of!
Picture perfect!
Bedroom fit for a queen!
I’m sure that by now we would have worked up quite an appetite, so for a real splurge we would pop up in the lobby of the Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park in London…with lunch reservations at Dinner by Heston Blumenthal! Hopefully this time I would be better prepared than 2 years ago when hubby took me there, coincidentally also for my birthday. At that particular occasion I was so gobsmacked by where we were that it took me 30 minutes before I could even order water! It was a fantastic meal, and the highlight was ordering one of Heston’s tricks of the mind – ‘meat fruit’. What appears to be a beautiful little mandarin is in fact… chicken liver parfait! The orange colour is a little jelly that is transformed to look like the skin of a mandarin and it wraps the parfait beautifully. Amazing! And so was the special little dessert they sent out for me. Yip, we would do it over again and make toast to good food and good health!
At the entrance to the hotel
DINNER by Heston!!
The famous man fruit!
My special birthday treat from the kitchen
After lunch it would be time to soak up a bit of culture. Call me a nerd, but I love museums! So seeing that we are in London we would head to the British Museum. We’ve been there twice already and we have not yet managed to get through the whole thing. The first time I loved the Egyptian section and spent the better part of three hours there. More recently I didn’t get sucked in by the Egyptians again, but this time got stuck at the Aztec section! Every time I experience a bit of history like that I feel truly blessed that I have the opportunity to look back in time. It also puts our lives into perspective and on this day, marking another year of my life, it will make me think about what legacy our generation will leave and what my part in it will be. It better be a good one!
The imposing British Museum
The roof inside the foyer
Aztec masks, based on real human skulls!
More scare Aztec masks
A birthday is sometimes also a perfect excuse for those once in a lifetime treats. So next stop? Why not the playground of the rich and famous – Monaco! We’ll be teleported to a place that was never even on my bucket list because it never seemed a reality that I would ever set foot there. But unlike last year, when we managed to walk on the hallowed F1 street tack, we will trade the red city bus for a red Ferrari and cruise the streets in style! We would park up in front of the Monaco casino and sit down in one of the beautiful cafes and sip French champagne – because you only live once! And as we sit back and take in the multi-million dollar yachts in the harbour, the strings of sportscars driving by, I will be reminded to dream big dreams, as I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
For F1 lovers, uphill from Sainte Devote, along uphill along Avenue d’Ostende
Not a Ferrari spotted in Monaco, but I’ll take it!
Casino de Monte CarloMonaco, the playground of the rich and famous
And as dusk slowly settles on an amazing day, we’ll be transported to a gondola on the Grand Canal of Venice. With romance and wonder in the air, our gondolier will sing Italian love songs and hubby and I will look lovingly in each others’ eyes and stare in amazement at the splendour that is Venice. Dinner would be at a romantic restaurant on the Grand Canal and as we watch the lights of Venice glitter in the water we will sip on some prosecco and say cheers to my birthday. Main course for me would definitely be some seafood pasta – probably a vongole, simple pasta with mussels and clams. And we would stay there until just about all the tables are empty.
The Grand Canal of VeniceVenice at sunset – truly one of a kind.
But the last stop on our day would also be the best stop – home. Where we will light a fire in the fireplace, have a last glass of wine for the night, snuggle on the couch with the dogs, and maybe catch the last bit of House Hunters International…! Because here is where real life happens, and I am truly grateful for the wonderful year that was.
Here is to a great new year ahead in which I believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. (And that someone out there will now just develop this teleport thing already!)
Where is it all going? The stairs down from the top of the Arc de Triomphe!
So it’s official – here is it is.
A mid-life crisis. Or something of the sort. Definitely a crisis!
Where shall I start?
There is the disappointment that I seem to be average! Psychologytoday.com says it is typical for the average 30 year old woman to, “as their career focus narrows, to seek meaningful and challenging work. For smart, goal-driven women, a mid-life crisis isn’t about recovering lost youth. It’s about discovering the application of their greatness. The problem is that no one has defined what “greatness” looks like so the quest has no specific destination.”
So here, as I stare my mid-thirties in the face, I thought it was only me. But no, seems like I am just average. Seems I can’t even claim this crisis to be my greatness! But then, where are all these other average women? Everyone around me seems like they have it all together; all figured out and well on their way. In fact, most seem pretty great already! Who else feels like me? Agonizing about where I am in my career, if I am in the right place, at the right time. If I have done enough, worked hard enough, saved enough… if I should not have achieved more by now? What if I don’t even want to be in the corporate world? Is this the time to take risks? To pack up with hubby and the dogs and move to Italy to start our little restaurant? But it seems even rich and famous suffer the same fate! Look at Justin Timberlake – singers want to act, actors want to sing! Bad example, he’s a man! Wait, what? This isn’t even a woman thing?! How about JLo – she was an actor before she became a popstar. Jeepers – now to find greatness (and a body) like that!
But never mind about actually really having the time or the luxury to focus on finding what my greatness might be – because what about retirement? Come to think about it, it seems that corporate job is here to stay. Nevermind greatness! And we definitely need additional income, which of course necessitates me having to come up with the most brilliant invention the world has ever seen. Yip, there are those sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling wondering what it might be. Could it be chocolates that don’t make you fat?! YES, I would buy that. Truckloads of it. Or miracle weight loss pills! Let’s be honest, I’ve tried a few… I have yet to find the miracle. I wonder if a non-famous person could become famous for not being famous… then I could also have an emoji app! Maybe anti-wrinkle creams that really turn back the clock 10 years. (Yep… tried those too.)
Which I clearly need! Because a night of little sleep, in which you lay contemplating how you can turn your yet-to-be-discovered greatness into a million dollar money making scheme, can evidently take its toll. Because on some of those mornings you get up, get dressed, put on your make-up and look at yourself in the mirror – and then it happens – rarely, but it does – it happens that you think “hey, I actually goooood today”… only to be greeted with a concerned colleague asking you as you set foot in the office “shame, are you ok? You look so tired today?” Never mind that being a crises, that is a disaster!
So where to from here? I’ve never been a person that enjoys a pity party so there is no time to feel sorry for myself! I’m normally the one with the positive word and the encouraging talk for anyone else that needs some advice. So what do I have to say to this face looking back at me in the mirror? The one with the slightly bemused look on her face, a few wrinkles around the eyes (I need to start smiling less!) and a few grey hairs growing out?
I look up from the computer at our home that I love… and I see hubby lying on the couch while my one dachshund boy is trying to look all cute so that he can be allowed to jump up as well. The other one has snuggled himself under his blankie in their basket – he is 14 years old already! I see our holiday photos on the wall and my favourite poetry and recipe books in the bookshelf. Some I’ve had since I was 16! Our family and friends are healthy and safe. And as soon as I am done writing here, hubby and I will prepare one of my favourite meals… plus it is just about time for a glass of wine!
All of that is pretty great…
So yes, face-in-the-mirror… you might not have it all figured out today. You might not know exactly what yet undiscovered greatness lies inside you, where the road you are on is leading or what tomorrow might bring. But you have the things that make life great around you every day right now and that is already a great place to be… Just let your journey continue.
The journey continues. Sunset – taken close to Trebes on the Canal du Midi.
I love history because we can learn from it. This is the Musee du Louvre, in Paris.
While school and university are great platforms for learning, to my mind, Life proves to be the best teacher by far. While the former imparts theory, Life shows you… well, life. How the everyday works. And it is not the kind of stuff you can get from a text book. It’s the hard-hitting realities and truths that you can only learn by experiencing it.
So far in my life I had to learn some hard lessons. It is not always easy to deal with the disappointment, but I am better for it.
Family members are not as interested in seeing your holiday photos as what you are. I have taken a multitude of pictures “to show my mom and dad; because they will really enjoy this!”. For some reason, after picture number 453, their enthusiasm is not what it was when the slideshow first came on.
After I’ve put nail polish on my nails, I will need to go to the bathroom. It doesn’t help to go just before. Nope, I’ve tried that. Inexplicably my bladder is linked to fresh nail polish that needs to dry.
After living with terrible, faded and outgrown hair for weeks, the day I go to the hairdresser to finally get my hair done, it will look the best that it ever has.
The first time I try a new recipe will always be amazing. However, past performance is not a guarantee of future success and as a result, the second time is normally a disaster. Let’s just say the panna cotta I practiced for Christmas pudding was an amazing test, but more a “puddle of cotta” on the day it was meant to be a star.
If you try some pants on in the store and it fits just a tad too tight, chances are very good it will never fit. Don’t believe yourself when you say “Well, I am on a diet… so it is just a matter of days before it fits…” No, it will not happen.
If you spot something really expensive that you like and buy it, within a few weeks you will find it on sale for a third of the price. However, if you decide to wait for a sale, that specific thing you were looking for won’t be there anymore.
The neater the handbag, the more difficult to find things inside it.
Not that I have had much experience with grey hair (!!) but for every one grey hair that you try and pull out, you will pull out at least 5 perfectly good hairs instead. And when you finally manage to get hold of the grey you will end up breaking it off, instead of eradicating it completely. Those things stick like the roots of a thousand year old tree.
Yes, learning can be tough business.
But what is the most profound thing that I have learnt so far in my schooling with Life? “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. What ever has be done done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer.
It is something that I continue to learn every day. Just like school, you have to practice at Life. The best part about it though is that you will only fail once you stop trying. So happy learning! I know my education continues.
I won’t lie – I spent quite a bit of time deciding on a name for my blog. I wanted a name that resonated with me. That told my story. That gave a glimpse of who I am and what I am about. (And from my first post, New Beginnings, clearly it also had to be perfect – to me, in any case!)
There were a few contenders but ultimately, over a glass of wine and testing it with hubby, it became apparent that WorkFoodHome was the one. Why?
Well, for me, that’s my life in a nutshell really. I work, I eat and if I’m not at work, I’m at home (mostly). Sounds terribly depressing, doesn’t it?! But is it really? I suppose it could be, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s the reality in which we live. (And it’s not just my reality, but a reality shared by most people.) How I choose to live that reality is up to me though…
So that is what WorkFoodHome is about. Creating my reality every day. It includes the people (and dogs!) I love and share my life with, it’s about the things I choose to occupy my mind with, the experiences I have, the places I visit. It’s about good food and wine, things that I enjoy doing, things that makes me happy. It’s about what matters to me, all while trying to live as positively as I can.
So that’s WorkFoodHome – And A Life In Between.
Food!
Looking back at my first post it is evident that I suffer from a bit of performance (perfection) anxiety! Before I took that first step I was so caught up in my own head – what would people think… what do I want people to think – that it kept me from making a start for quite some time (years, if I am honest). Now, about a month into this journey, I am so happy that I finally did it!
The most rewarding thing so far has been rediscovering my creative side – my love for writing and photography. (Although hubby would say that my smile when I receive a “like” on a post or a new follower can also be likened to that of a child on Christmas morning!)
I’m not sure when I will feel that I am ‘successful’/not failing at blogging. For now, I am just reveling in the experience and I am utterly enjoying it. And I hope that somewhere in my stories someone will find encouragement to make stories of their own, to try something new, maybe take time to reflect or to just take that next step!
WorkFoodHome 